Patient Suffering : Edward Ahn
Romans 8:18 (ESV)
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
I actually first started paying attention to this verse after the release of an album titled “8:18”. It was the 5th studio album release by one of my favorite metal bands, The Devil Wears Prada, and after seeing the allusion to the bible verse, I began to look at this verse more intently.
This verse talks of suffering and reassures us that our current suffering stands little in comparison to the “…glory He will reveal to us later”. Funny enough, I think most of my favorite Bible verses deal with some theme of suffering; 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 talks of the same idea as Romans 8:18, that our current suffering will “…produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them…”. Proverbs 15:32 talks of accepting discipline –to not reject it for our sake of growing in understanding but to love it.
And I guess why I like these verses, or rather, why I always keep them in the back of my mind, is because of desperation. I’ve struggled my entire life with finding worth or meaning to life, with grasping any reason for my existence in the world, why any of this matters when the sun will inevitably blow up and destroy everything my physical body values. Part of me couldn’t find any reasoning to life, and just saw it as this endless, very long, and terribly pointless ordeal. Part of me wanted to quit and disappear from existing.
But an “other” part of me wrestles with this idea. This “other” me sees the small glimpses of beauty in life: the deep belly-aching laughter of friends, the emotions that surge after hearing a really good song, the taste of wonderful food, the touch and scent of someone you love. This “other” me realizes there’s this incredible simple beauty to life, and can’t even begin to comprehend that there’s an even greater beauty to be seen in heaven with the Father. I can’t fathom what heaven will be like. I can’t imagine how it will exceed everything I’ve ever loved and how it will bring me to my knees at just the mere sight of it.
And so I wait patiently for that day. I endure the sufferings of yesterday, today, and tomorrow, in expectant anticipation of this “glory He will reveal to us later.” I stand and praise our King, grateful and thankful to have another day to live and breathe in everything He has to offer.
I still struggle with existence, without a doubt, I still do. I still find myself seized with panic and anxiety thinking of meaninglessness as I write this, and I still want to disappear sometimes. Life can be incredibly hard, brutally cruel, and seemingly random and up to chance.
But there is reassurance of the glory to be revealed later, there is hope in the name of Jesus, there is comfort to be found at the foot of His throne. These lyrics come from the song “8:18” by The Devil Wears Prada, and I thought it would be fitting to end with it:
“They ask why we suffer / Oh God please answer / Rivers run, mountains peak / We remain scared // The city mourns another loss / But we’ll pray forever / Rivers run, mountains peak / I know You’re there.”