Jesus, I Need You : Kay Park
Matthew 9:12-13 (ESV)
12 But when he heard it, he said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 13 Go and learn what this means: I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”
We live in a world of sin. No matter how hard you try to avoid and escape sin, you fall right back into it. It’s like trying to escape nature’s violent storms such as a tornado. You can try to run from it but once you get sucked in, there’s no way for you to survive with your own strength. The only way to calm the storm is through the power of Jesus Christ. We all need a savior. We all need Jesus.
For this reason, I thank God for calling me, for bringing me to repentance and using me as a servant for His kingdom. After turning away from my old life, I was so excited to embrace the Christian life and be made anew. I read the bible, listened to worship songs, prayed for myself and others, helped others in need, preached the gospel to friends and coworkers, and I tried to practice the fruit of the spirit characteristics daily to glorify God. I had so much passion and zeal for Christ and wanted to share that love with everyone in my life.
As the months and years passed, my attitude changed. My daily bible readings and devotions became a task I needed to check off my To-Do list. My prayer life became more burdensome. I found myself putting it off to the end of the day or squeezing it in between my “busy schedule”. The disappointments I’ve felt regarding my health, being surrounded by nonbelievers, and facing spiritual battles was the perfect storm for me to lose my focus on God. I was just going through the motions and it was evident my heart was growing further away from God.
This change in me caused me to feel guilt. I started to feel like I have failed God. I felt unworthy to be called His daughter. I was scared to be abandoned and I prayed for God not to give up on me and not to abandon me. I prayed for Him to continue working on giving me a new heart; for me to genuinely love others, not because of my own feelings towards them but because they are sons and daughters of Christ. In prayer, God brought me back to the Word and reminded me of when Thomas doubted Jesus’ resurrection, when Peter looked away from Jesus and almost drowned, when Peter denied Jesus three times, and when Judas betrayed Jesus for gold. Each of these disciples was either physically away or looking away from Jesus. Worldly things and pride was a distraction that caused them to take their eyes off Jesus. My prayer request is this: for God to give me the passion to love others as He loves us and to keep my eyes on Him.
No one is righteous. Everyone falls short of the Glory of God. This to me means that Jesus is calling each and every one of us. Let us not grow weary in pursuing our Father because He will never grow weary in pursuing us.