Walking In Weakness : Ian Kim
2 Corinthians 12:10 (ESV)
10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Hello. My name is Ian Kim and I am a freshman attending Brooklyn Technical High School. I chose to write my testimony on the bible verse, 2 Corinthians 12:10. “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” The roots go deep, dating back to when I used to live in New Jersey. I lived in a miniature apartment with my family for the majority of my life, until the 3rd grade. I didn’t know my entire life would change in an instant.
My mother and father used to fight all the time so whenever another fight began, I didn’t think much of it. It was nothing new. One time, they started fighting again and I thought the situation would settle down after a while. After a couple of minutes of hiding my head in a blanket with my hands over my ears, it was clear that this confrontation was becoming more and more violent. We had to be picked up by my grandmother and taken to New York to temporarily live with her until the conflict got resolved. The move to New York became permanent once my mother and father decided to get a divorce. They went to court and my mother was granted sole custody of my sister and me. As a result, my mother was the only source of income for our entire family and had to get a stable job. She also needed the help of my grandmother to watch us while she went out to work. Since flute teachers don’t make a lot of money, she had to run around and work from 9:00 in the morning to 8:30 at night. Because of this, I barely got to see my mother.
On top of that, I did not see my father because I deliberately chose not to meet him. The reason was that I couldn’t forgive him. We would have had an easier life if he didn’t cause the divorce. My mother wouldn’t have to work through blood, sweat, and tears in order to support us. I cut off all connections with him by blocking his number and text messages. Two years later, he found us. He found us through the church website when he saw me in one of the pictures. After I saw his desperation and dedication to find me, I decided to forgive him.
Because my mother wasn’t home often, my grandmother became my second mother figure. She was a hardcore Christian and began to send us to church every Sunday. At first, I wondered why she would send us to church when our lives were in a predicament. Why would I worship God and be thankful for something meaningless? However, my grandmother told me God plans for all things to happen with a purpose, whether it be good or bad. I didn’t realize this until recently.
I went to our youth group winter retreat with high expectations for prayer and sought after the typical spiritual high experience. I was disappointed when I didn’t feel God’s presence at first. To me, it was like any other retreat –following a schedule with small groups, performing skits, playing volleyball during our free time, and going to sleep late. It didn’t feel like a retreat, but rather a trip with friends. The first couple of days, I approached prayer time with expectations for God to respond to my prayers. However, I never received a response. On the last night of retreat, I was discouraged and felt as if this was another wasted opportunity. I had spent time and money on something that wouldn’t change my relationship with God. I had already been feeling disheartened before retreat even began, knowing that this retreat would be the beginning to an end of various relationships –especially with the seniors and a standup member that would be leaving Grace Church. That night, even though I was no longer expecting a response from God, I began to pray. Contrary to what I had initially thought would happen, He provided me with a solution. It wasn’t a direct message, but He fulfilled it through the members of youth group who are moving on. After praying half-heartedly, I opened my eyes and I saw these people in front of me. I broke down in tears, sobbing and begging them not to leave. Through this experience, God blessed me by enabling me to realize the conditions of taking people for granted. God gives and takes away. Even with the people I love most, I was not able to appreciate them.
This is the primary reason I decided to choose this verse to write about. My father is also someone who I had not appreciated enough. He recently cancelled his life insurance and healthcare to ensure that I can go to college without having to get a scholarship. I might have hated him in the past for the pain that he caused, but I believe this is God’s method of indirectly blessing me. Without the divorce of my parents, I would have never become a Christian or met the people I could call “ my family” now. I have learned to love by the grace of the Lord. Whether it be through my encounter with my enemies or through obstacles, I have realized how God does everything for a reason and He has a plan for each individual action. This verse symbolizes the hardships that you may experience in the present, which you should be content with, because God has the power to use your weaknesses to reveal His strength. This holds true in my life.