Peace, Protection and Provision : Christopher Ko

Peace

On March 12, 2020, we were at a crossroads. As COVID-19 was causing pandemonium across the world, it was only a matter of time until New York City would become the epicenter. Much like every church, business, and organization, we had decisions to make on how to proceed. Almost everyone I talked to was advising us to shut down operations for the time being, and quite frankly I did not disagree. There was so much unknown about the virus and fear overtook my heart. I thought about my wife and three kids as well as the safety of all of our staff and the people we serve. Every negative scenario played out in my mind and I did not want to add to the problem in the name of Jesus. So, going to bed that night I had subconsciously made the decision to shut down, go into quarantine and wait the virus out. 

However, when I woke up the next morning, I had a bit of an epiphany. I was reminded of a similar situation in history. In his book, “The Rise of Christianity,” Rodney Stark highlights some of the sociological factors that aided in the rapid rise of Christianity through the first 3 centuries after Christ. Chapter 4 is entitled, Epidemics, Networks, and Conversion. It speaks of 2 major epidemics (165 AD & 251 AD) that ravaged the Greco-Roman world, nearly wiping out half the population. Much like today, pandemonium gripped society, as people were literally stepping over one another just to survive. He notes that while most people were running away from the infected, it was the Christians who were running toward the sick with their arms wide open. It was the Christians who stood in the gap, risking their lives to cast out fear with the perfect love of God. How were they able to do that? Were they not scared? I’m sure they were. In short, they truly had an eternal perspective on life and therefore did not let fear dictate their decisions. Stark writes, “Christianity offered a much more satisfactory account of why these terrible times had fallen upon humanity, and it projected a hopeful, even enthusiastic, portrait of the future.”  When the dust had settled, many of those who had survived and witnessed this love first hand, placed their faith in Jesus Christ. This was incredibly encouraging to me, and this remains my hope during this crisis. I thought of the verse in Esther 4:14 that says that perhaps you were called for such a time as this. Yes, it was dangerous, but people need Jesus the most during times of crisis. It was then and there that we made the decision to press forward, in a safe way. Crisis calls for action! At that moment, God gave me peace with this decision, and now I was just praying for protection and provision.

Protection

I wish that I could tell you this heroic tale of how brave and courageous I was in trusting God, but that simply is not the truth. Yes, God gave me peace in making the decision to proceed, but that inner peace was short lived as I started going out into these communities. I was terrified and questioned everyday whether this was the right decision. Each day was an incredibly nerve-racking experience. Although I took every precaution, there have been many times where I freaked out and thought that I contracted the virus. Every innocuous cough, headache or little pain in my back, sent me into a panic. I even went as far as quarantining myself from the rest of my family on one side of the house. At that time, Elmhurst and Corona in Queens were the epicenters in NYC. Many of the people that we currently deliver boxes to in Corona had the virus early on, but were scared to go to the hospital because of their undocumented immigration status. They were sick in their apartments with no food and no help. This absolutely broke my heart. We were also doing a lot of work in the South Bronx and parts of Brooklyn that were hit extremely hard as well. Constantly going in and out of these COVID hotspots gave me an incredible amount of anxiety. I was taking 3 showers a day, constantly cleaning my car and shoes, and my hands started cracking from all the hand sanitizer I was using. I had to come to terms with the fact that there was a very real possibility that I could eventually contract COVID-19. So naturally I was scared. I feared for my family, and I certainly did not want to get sick myself. However, I came to a point in early April where I knew that I needed to put my trust in God and push through. Of course, that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be careful and that I would not get sick, but I needed to trust in God no matter what the circumstances were. This is what God requires of us through different situations in our lives. Did I have fear in my heart? Absolutely! But fear is not the antithesis of faith. Fear is simply a natural emotion. Faith is a belief in God that leads to action, even in the midst of fear.

Provision

Along with fear, doubt crept into my mind daily. Call me doubting Thomas- but in the beginning, I just wasn’t sure how we would financially be able to sustain the calling that God put before us. We are a young organization, and fundraising has always been an issue. We trusted that God was with us, but practically, the numbers just did not add up. Each week, as the number of people we were feeding rapidly increased, we had to turn down dozens of people every day asking for help. It broke my heart having to say no to so many people simply because we did not have the money. This financial burden was giving me more grey hairs than the pandemic itself. But again, God gave me peace. One of my mentors once told me, “If God gives you a calling, he will provide the means.” I told God that day that we are going to continue to do this until you tell us to stop or until we have no more money. Let me just say that God has been so faithful and he has provided each step of the way.

There are so many amazing stories of anonymous donations coming in just at the right time. I remember in April that we needed a new freezer and fridge because we didn’t have enough space to store all the food. I was a bit stressed out because I knew that we could not afford it at the time. However, literally the next morning, one of our partner churches called and asked me if we needed a new fridge and freezer. Somebody donated to them but they had no need for them. HALLELUJAH! In another instance last month, we reached a financial tipping point. Money was flowing out at an exponentially higher rate than it was coming in, and we weren’t sure if we would be able to sustain our current output past the next week. This is a chilling place to be in as an organization. It makes you want to crawl under a rock and hide. However, God is faithful! The very next day I received a check from Grace Church for several thousands of dollars. This made me cry, because I knew that God was using so many people like yourselves for this important task. I just want you all to know that you are truly making a difference, and your generosity has made it possible to feed hundreds of families, not only in Corona, but all across NYC. I am truly touched by the efforts of so many at your church, from packing boxes, delivering, to making cards, praying, donating, holding Spanish services, Bingo fundraisers, etc., but most importantly for taking the initiative to adopt this community as your own. Last week I received a text message from a brother in Corona named Sebastian. He has been receiving our life boxes for the past few months. He writes, “Good News, I recently found a job, so I will no longer need help with food. I just want to thank you so much for your help during this crisis. Please give my box to someone else who needs it now. God Bless You!” Messages like this gives me the strength to keep moving forward. Even if only one person comes to know God through this, I would jump for joy. However, I am trusting that God has a greater harvest in mind, and He has entrusted you guys as workers in the field. Thank you for responding to His call.

In Conclusion…

Sometimes, I wish that a million dollars would fall like manna from heaven. But deep inside I know if that happened, I would probably get complacent and just trust in the money rather than God. In this season, God has been building my faith as he has been providing His daily bread. He has been giving us just what we need, just at the right time. Thank you so much Grace Church for your obedience to God, for you have truly been an answer to my prayers. I know that many of you may be going through difficulties during this season. Many of you have fear, anxiety and doubt over what lies ahead, just as I had. I just want to let you know that it’s okay to feel this way. Again, fear is not the opposite of having faith. Fear is simply a natural emotion. Faith is a belief in God that leads to action, even in the midst of fear, anxiety and doubt. Put your trust in Him, keep moving forward, and God will do the rest. Let’s Go!