Through Christ : John Minami
1 Thessalonians 1: 2-5 (ESV)
2 We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers, 3 remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. 4 For we know, brothers loved by God that he has chosen you, 5 because our gospel came to you not only in word, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction. You know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake.
I had always believed myself to be a faithful Christian ever since I first met Christ. Back in high school, I spent 3-4 days a week at church. Saturday was essentially an all-day affair with morning service, church cleaning, Korean school, praise team practice, worship, fellowship and finally going home at 10 pm. When I went to college, every single day was spent at church. I went to morning service every morning and every night, I always had some sort of meeting or worship. I held multiple positions at church, and I felt so blessed and happy to serve. And then one day, I hit a wall.
I was going through a tough time in my life. My family was struggling financially to the point that despite having a full ride to college, I was spending most of my free time juggling three jobs to send money back home. I was approaching my senior year in college but still was struggling to find a job (when most of my peers had already secured their job offers). My long-distance relationship of almost three years had ended. I was hospitalized multiple times due to certain health complications. And I still had to serve at church which no longer brought me joy. I was leading multiple small groups and had to constantly meet with many people every week to provide advice, prayers, and consolations which I did not have the emotional energy for. I had to help lead worship which became a hassle. I was just tired of all of it… Yet, I persevered. I tried doing all of it. I grit my teeth and told myself to just last another day. I slept less, I drank more coffee, I did everything I could to squeeze every last ounce of energy out of my defeated body to “serve” the church.
It all came to a head when I had dropped off everyone except for one friend after morning service. On my way to his dorm, he casually asked me how I was doing. And I just broke down. I was crying so much that I had to pull over because I couldn’t even drive. I cried for a good half-hour as he just hugged me and tried to give me words of encouragement. But his words were not enough, and he knew that. He told me that he didn’t have anything he could do for me, but he said would pray for me. But he mentioned that I really needed to pray for myself.
The next morning, I went to morning service and I prayed to God. I didn’t pray for my church or all the things that were going on in my life. But I just prayed for myself. I told God that I was tired and that I WANTED to serve Him with a proper heart, but I just couldn’t. I was so tired and felt so alone and I just needed Him. I cried out to Him that morning and God faithfully answered. He reminded me that I needed to find comfort and peace in His Words and so I opened up my Bible and started reading. That’s when I came across 1 Thessalonians 1: 2-5.
Paul started his letter to the Thessalonians by thanking them for their service to God. I started sobbing when I read this line. As Paul thanked the Thessalonians, I felt like God was thanking me for all that I was doing for Him. Despite my incorrect heart in serving Him, He knew that I desired to serve Him with a good heart. My service was far from perfect, but I had really been desperate in striving to serve Him. I had given Him my all, but I had come up short. And this is where the true power and comfort of these verses comes from. Paul writes to the Thessalonians that all of their work, labor and endurance are rooted in Jesus Christ. This was what I had really been missing in my service: Jesus Christ.
No matter what sort of heart I have for God, no matter how much energy or effort I give Him, it’ll all never be enough. I could spend a million years serving God but without Jesus Christ, all of that is useless. I learned that serving through strength and love provided by Jesus is not just lip service. It’s not some “Christian” phrase that pastors come up with to sound humble. I learned that I literally cannot do anything through my own strength or love. I am such a weak man. But Christ gives me the strength and love to serve those around me. I need Jesus to be alive in me so I can do all the things He calls me to do and to be all the things He calls me to be.
This passage, while it may have been a simple greeting that Paul wrote, saved me. When I look back at that time in my life, I can see how I could’ve completely burned out and left the church. I could’ve grown bitter towards God and turned my back on Him. But God called to me through His Word. He brought me comfort and peace and renewed my strength because He was not done with me. God continues to call me to serve and I gladly heed that call because I know that I am not called to do anything through my own power. I have faith in Jesus’ power which eclipses my own. As I continue to serve for and with many of you, I pray that we all continue to rely on the same power.