Day 14 – Benjamin An
1. What do you do for a living? (occupation/field of study)
I am currently a pre-med student studying biomedical engineering at Stony Brook University.
2. How do you like to spend your free time?
I typically spend my free time practicing instruments, playing video games, and eating at different restaurants with friends.
3. Share one interesting fact about you that most people don’t know!
I have a weird obsession with Japanese culture and have been dying to visit for a very long time!
4. Do you have a favorite book in the Bible? If you do, which one is it and why?
My favorite book in the Bible is Job. In the past, my family has gone through many difficult times, struggling financially, mentally, and physically too. It is always inspiring to see Job, who had everything he needed in the world, lose everything except his faith in God. Even when his friends turned on him, Job never lost his path. There were many times in my life when I questioned God for all the challenges he gave me, and there were even times I hated God for making me suffer after all I had been through in the past. However, He has always shown me that I can grow from my hardships. Just like Job, I long to tackle every challenge the world throws at me asking God for faith and resilience.
5. Is there a verse/passage in the Bible that has significantly impacted your life? If so, which is it and why?
Job 1:24 “And he said, ‘Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.’” (ESV). This verse highlights the mentality that many people in the Bible had when they went through suffering. The concept of not owning anything is very powerful; for God created everything and we own nothing. Because of this, we are born with nothing and die with nothing, and as such, worldly and materialistic things hold no value. With this idea in mind, I am more content with the things in life that I cannot control. Regardless of if life goes the way I want it to or not, I will praise the Lord and remain faithful.
6. Is there a prayer request that has been on your heart recently? If so, please share with us.
I pray for discernment and a prayerful heart when it comes to sharing the gospel with my friends. I pray that God will work in their hearts and one day bring them to church.
7. Tell us about how you met Christ? (feel free to share a brief testimony)
As an ambitious student, prestige meant everything to me. I studied to get the best grades, I participated in a lot of extracurricular activities, and I longed to attend a top university to fulfill my quota of achieving a successful future. To a large degree of success, I was able to maintain a lot of these goals, and I lived somewhat content with all that I had going. Not a day went by when I questioned if I would lose any of these things, therefore, I never had anything else to lean on.
During the start of the pandemic, however, it was very clear how quickly things can get out of my own control. I met a teacher who spited me, failing me under the sole reason of hatred. I developed a severe anxiety disorder, which crippled my everyday activities and tore at my physical health. This began an unhealthy cycle, with different physical symptoms worsening my mental health. Tinnitus ate away at my sleep, IBS took away my will to eat, and the overwhelming feelings of depression and hopelessness took away my will to live. My confidence was shattered, and I no longer had anything to live for.
Throughout this time I was told by many people that they would be praying for me, and that the only way to combat this hardship was through prayer and faith. In the moment, I can remember how difficult it was to turn to God, and in fact, it was much easier to stay angry at Him for all the pain He caused me. However, the more I tried to overcome my anxiety on my own, the more I realized nothing in this world would satisfy me. After a short time, I felt like the only thing I could do was go to church.
The growth was slow, but I could gradually feel my heart opening up. One thing I can vividly remember about my healing was the peace I felt worshiping Jesus; a feeling that nothing in the world mattered. Although my healing didn’t occur in one specific moment, it was very clear how Jesus changed me. It was a process that mirrored my suffering: the more I encountered Jesus, the more I wanted to learn about him. It was a surreal process seeing my priorities change before me. I no longer wanted to achieve a high status or gain prestige, I just wanted to get closer to Jesus.
To this day my passion for medicine still persists; I find great joy in my studies and feel a strong intensity to help others. However, I no longer center my life around the goals of the world. It is due to my connection with Jesus that I ascertained a stronger focus on sharing the gospel with others in my life; to demonstrate the fruits of the spirit Jesus once did and bring others to meet Jesus and experience the same healing I did.